Beta Read online

  "He is clearly not old enough for a high chair," I replied bitterly, "A booth will do just fine. Thanks."

  She grabbed two menus without further discussion and led us to our booth. Titus sat opposite of me and Christian, simply looking at me as if trying to suppress a laugh.

  "What?" I asked.

  "Nothing. Just didn't think you had a jealous side," he finally let his smile break into his perfect features.

  "I'm not jealous," I tried to deny.

  "Sure, love. Whatever you say," he said unconvinced.

  I glared at him, "See, I told you you would irritate me."

  He laughed, "Okay fine. So what classes did you have today?"

  "Anatomy, physics, organic chemistry, and Shakespeare."

  "Shakespeare?"

  "Yep. I took it for fun. I figured, I'm about to graduate so I might as well make this last semester as enjoyable as possible."

  "Only you would take a difficult class for fun," he said with a light laugh.

  I smiled sheepishly before looking down at Christian who was already staring up at me.

  "I think it's funny that he likes his stomach to be rubbed," I commented.

  Titus laughed, "I did too. At least that's what I'm told."

  I laughed at the irony. Not only was it funny that Christian would be comforted the same way as his father but the thought of Titus being anything but this strong, powerful Beta was laughable.

  We glanced over our menus but I felt Titus watching me more than studying his food list.

  "What," I asked without looking up.

  "How do you do it?" He asked curiously.

  "Do what?" I finally looked up at him.

  "Everything. You just adapt to everything. You picked up handling Christian like it was no big deal, you cook, you study, work, go to school, dance...you just do everything and you still have time to come to dinner with me."

  I half smiled, "I've been taking care of myself since I could walk. I should be good at it."

  "You shouldn't have to take care of yourself. Do you even like working at the hospital?"

  I shrugged, "It's not really about what I like. It pays my rent and keeps food on the table."

  "But do you like it? Does it make you happy?"

  I thought about it for a moment. Was I happy working there? Not really. I hated my bosses and the staff treated me the same way my pack did. They thought I was odd because I was a child prodigy but they never took the time to know me. I mostly just sat at a desk and filed paperwork for the lazy nurses.

  "Not really," I concluded.

  "If you didn't have to worry about bills would it make you happy to quit?"

  I laughed, "Well, yeah! Of course I don't find a thrill in filing paperwork but like I said, I don't really have a choice."

  "I don't want you to do anything that doesn't make you happy. If you want to quit, then quit."

  "I can't."

  "Don't worry about bills, Elizabeth. If you want to quit then do it."

  "That's not realistic," I said flatly.

  "I am covering your expenses from now on. Don't bother arguing because it's already done. If you don't want to work there, quit."

  I stared at him skeptically. No one, not even my own parents, had ever taken care of me. I wasn't so sure I could accept something so gracious.

  "I can't accept that."

  "Why not?"

  "Because I can't. I don't want you to work harder because I don't like my job."

  He half smiled, "I won't. Trust me."

  "Titus-"

  "Elizabeth. This is something I really must insist on. What kind of man would I be if I didn't take care of you?"

  "I don't want you to think I just assume you'll pay for everything. Like I said, I've been taking care of myself for a long time. I'm used to it."

  He tossed me a pointed look. The waitress, a sweet, elderly lady, came to the table to take our order. She smiled at Christian before bending down to get a better look at him.

  "He is so precious. You have a beautiful son," she said as she looked at me with a smile.

  "Oh, he's-"

  "Thank you," Titus cut in.

  I smiled weakly at the lady before she got up and walked away.

  "You know she thought he was mine," I said in case he misinterpreted the lady.

  "I know. This is something we should discuss in detail," he mumbled more to himself.

  "I would say so...I just don't know how to be a parent. I mean, I didn't exactly have the best role models."

  "You're not like them, love. You're smart and caring. I can tell you're already getting attached to him."

  I smiled down at Christian, "I guess I am. People will know I'm not his real mother though."

  "They will only know you didn't contribute genetically. Giving birth to a child doesn't make someone a mother."

  Truer words had never been spoken. I was going to be taking care of Christian and raising him with Titus.

  "What if his birth mother shows up and wants to be in his life?"

  "I seriously doubt that will ever happen. A few months after we found out she was pregnant, she found her mate and he was furious she was carrying my child. He wanted Christian aborted but I almost killed him when he demanded it. So, he told her it was either mate with him and leave Christian or he would leave her."

  "That's sad," I said quietly.

  "Sad?"

  I nodded, "I couldn't imagine you making me choose between those things. Just so we're clear, I would always choose my child."

  He laughed so lightly I almost mistook it for a breath, "I would never ask that of you but I'm happy that would be your choice. I'm actually happy she left though. I was going to marry her because of Christian and that would have been a disaster after meeting you."

  "You-you were going to marry her?!"

  He nodded, "Seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

  I shrugged but I wouldn't show him how upset that made me. Of course he didn't do it but it still left a bad taste. I didn't want to think about him with any other woman but it was reality. I wonder how he would have reacted if I wasn't a virgin. He probably would have been furious.

  "Hypothetically, lets say she shows up and wants to be part of his life. What then?"

  "We are his parents, not her. She has no legal or moral right to him. She signed all of that away."

  "She gave up her rights to him?"

  "An hour after he was born."

  Even though he spoke apathetically, I knew it made him angry that she just abandoned Christian but I was secretly happy. I didn't want her in our lives especially if I was going to be a significant figure in his life. I didn't want the drama.

  "In the last twenty-four hours you have been a better motherly figure for him than she could have ever been. I don't want you to go through his entire life feeling like you're not his mother just because you didn't give birth to him."

  I nodded, "So you plan on staying with me then?"

  He gave me a look like I had totally caught him off guard before he frowned and shook his head.

  "If the fact that you're holding my son didn't prove that to you then I don't know what will."

  A small smile graced my lips, "Don't you mean our son?"

  *******

  Five years later

  I held Christian's hand tightly as we walked up to the school. He had already been through preschool but this was the start of his real schooling and I didn't want to let my son go. We spent every hour of every day together and now he would be taught by someone else, someone less capable than me. Titus simply walked behind us as we approached the school. He was less worried than I was but I assumed that was due to the fact that he was a man and that meant he was naturally less inclined to separation anxiety.

  "Mom I wanna walk on my own," Christian complained.

  I frowned but sighed and complied with his wishes.

  "At least let me hug you before you go."

  I didn't give him the option; I p
ulled him in for a tight hug as I fought the tears though I was in a losing battle.

  "I'll come to your class to pick you up at 12," I said sternly.

  "Be good today," Titus said as he hugged Christian.

  Titus was a man of few words as I had learned over our three years of marriage but he meant every word he said.

  "Bye," Christian waved as he walked inside.

  "He'll be fine," Titus said as he laced our fingers together to lead me away.

  "Kids are cruel, Titus. What if someone is mean to him?"

  "Then he will deal with but do you honestly think anyone will mess with the Beta's son?" He asked with a smirk.

  I crossed my arms ready to pout but he slipped his hands around my waist and kissed the top of my ear so lightly, it was just a brush of his lips.

  "I bet I can make you feel a little better about this," he whispered.

  I didn't want to give in so easily but he was making it damn near impossible to resist. He knew I couldn't say no to him but I would try my hardest to hold out.

  "You have to meet up with Zac."

  He ran his teeth over my ear forcing a shiver down my spine.

  "Zac will wait."

  I tossed him a pointed look, "I seriously doubt that."

  He laughed lightly and turned me to face him.

  "Really, Lizzy, I have time before I have to meet up with him. Lets go home," he said coyly.

  I looked into his terribly handsome face feeling the same intense attraction I felt when I first saw him. I still couldn't believe I was meant to be with such a perfect man but fate really had my back on this one.

  I wrapped my arms around his muscular neck, "Do you know how handsome you are?"

  His smirk widened, "Maybe you should remind me."

  I went up on my tip toes to give him a publicly appropriate kiss. His arms wrapped around my waist.

  "I don't know. I think I'm getting old, Lizzy," he teased.

  I rolled my eyes, "Don't be ridiculous."

  He unhooked my arms from around his neck and laced our finger together as he led me to the car. I looked over my shoulder at the school, not wanting to leave Christian but knowing he needed and wanted to grow up a little.

  "Are you sure he will be okay?" I asked as we pulled away.

  "He's fine. You worry too much."

  "Maybe you don't worry enough," I muttered.

  "Lizzy, I promise he will be fine. He's only gone for four hours," he reminded.

  I sighed, "Okay, okay. I'll stop."

  "Good," he said with a smile.

  His phone started ringing from his jacket pocket. He pulled it out and with a slight roll of his eyes answered.

  "Yeah?" He asked.

  He listened to Zac on the other end telling him he needed to go to the pack house now. It didn't sound urgent but Zac did sound a little irritated, not necessarily with Titus but with whatever situation they were about to deal with.

  Titus set his phone in a cup holder and reached over to lace our fingers together. There was never a shortage of affection with him like I initially thought there might be. He was a rather private man and I thought he might not be completely open with me physically or emotionally but he was like an open book. Even though he kept his indifference with others, I always knew exactly what was going on.

  "I guess I'll take you back to your office," he said. I could hear the disappointment in his voice and couldn't help but smile.

  "I have plans tonight," I commented.

  "With who?"

  He knew I didn't really talk to anyone else except for a couple of the mothers that had children in school with Christian. I was cordial with everyone but I only really talked to Adrian.

  "You," I said with a light smile.

  He returned it and gripped my hand, "And what would those plans be?"

  "You'll see. Just be home by nine."

  He pulled up to my office and leaned over to kiss me goodbye. He didn't usually drop me off but I kind of liked it. It was nice being able to see him for a few extra minutes before I started my day of sick and injured wolves. I loved being a pack doctor but it could get a little depressing sometimes. It was rare that a wolf would get a terrible disease which made it that much worse when I had to deliver terrible news.

  Today, I was not looking forward to telling Macy she wasn't able to have children on her own. She would need help from a doctor that specialized in fertility treatments. It was unfortunate that most wolves based a woman's worth on how well she could produce children. When a woman like Macy couldn't have children, she was looked at skeptically. I couldn't stand that about wolves but I didn't make the social rules; I simply had to follow them since I was married to the Beta.

  Macy was already sitting in the waiting room and greeted me with a bright smile. I tried to return her bright grin but I knew my lackluster smile offered her little solace. I think she already knew my prognosis which broke my heart a little. She would make an amazing mother but the only way she could have children would maybe be through science.

  "We can talk in my office," I said to Macy.

  She stood and followed me down the hall to my private office. The sound of her heels on the hardwood floors was almost ominous. She was a striking woman which made this even worse because she would have beautiful children. A sinking feeling settled in my stomach as I thought of the best way to break the news to her.

  "Please, sit," I prompted.

  She took a seat next to me on the small, brown leather couch. I took a silent breath to deliver the news.

  "So we ran plenty of tests and I guess there is no easy way to tell you this...Macy, it is my professional opinion that you will be unable to conceive on your own. Maybe with some help from a fertility expert, you and John can-"

  "No," she said quietly. I noticed her wipe a tear from under her long, dark lashes, "John can never know about this."

  "Macy, I really think you should tell him."

  She shook her head, "He'll divorce me if I can't have children naturally. There has to be something you can do," she begged.

  "This really isn't my area," I tried.

  "Elizabeth, you're the smartest woman I know. You know I can't go to someone outside the pack and John wouldn't let me have science intervene," she said as she tried to control her tears.

  I felt awful for not being able to help her but I really didn't know much about fertility treatments. However, I couldn't help but feel bad about not knowing more.

  "Okay. Give me a couple months to do some research and I'll see if I can help you," I said.

  She nodded, "What do I tell him on the full moon?"

  I shrugged, "Have sex with him like nothing is wrong."

  "But then he'll know something is wrong if I don't get pregnant."

  I nodded. Titus and I didn't have sex on the full moon to avoid me getting pregnant. At least, that was my assumption. He had never said otherwise and I didn't question him.

  "I'll see if there's anything I can do in the next couple weeks but I'm not making any promises. You really should tell him, Macy," I said.

  She nodded quickly before leaning over to hug me.

  "Thank you, Elizabeth."

  "You're welcome," I said awkwardly.

  She got up and started towards the door before tossing me a grateful smile.

  •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

  I couldn't wait any longer to pick up Christian from school so I went half an hour early and just waited outside the classroom.

  Another mother, about my age, sat across from me but she never looked at me. She purposely avoided eye contact with me because of my status, better yet, the status of my husband.

  "Which one is yours?" I asked politely.

  "Brittany," she said as she pointed to a little redhead.

  The girl was cute with alabaster skin and plump cheeks but not nearly as cute as Christian.

  "You are the
Beta's wife, right?"

  I nodded, "Elizabeth. What's your name?"

  "Connie. How old is Christian?"

  "He's five. What about Brittany?"

  "She just turned six. She's a little older than the others," she said.

  I nodded politely as the teacher started to let the children out. Connie and I stood up to go into the classroom and retrieve our children.

  Christian saw me but didn't immediately come up to me which struck me as odd. He actually looked mad at me.

  "Christian? Did something happen?" I asked as I knelt in front of him.

  He looked away from me and picked up his backpack when the teacher walked up to me.

  "Mrs. Collins?" She asked.

  "Yes."

  "I thought you should know, there was a small incident today. One of the little girls told Christian you aren't his real mother and he was upset."

  I sighed, "Great. Thank you for telling me."

  She nodded with a light smile and went to her desk. I looked down at Christian who wouldn't even acknowledge me. Well, this was certainly the morning from hell.

  *********

  Christian and I drove in silence to my office. He came to work with me almost every day. Titus and I didn't want a babysitter to watch him all day so if I truly couldn't bring him to work, Titus's mother, Aria, would watch Christian. Titus wanted to be with Christian but his days were often too full of pack business and it wouldn't be entirely appropriate to bring Christian along just yet. In a few years, maybe I would be okay with Christian running patrols with some of the groups but he was far too young right now.

  "Christian, do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw him shake his head. I sighed, worried he really did hate me now. We hadn't told him yet because we thought he was too young. We didn't think he would be able to fully understand the situation yet but maybe that was a mistake. Maybe we should have told him sooner.

  "I understand why you're upset. Are you sure there is nothing you want to ask me about?"

  "Is Brittany lying," he asked though he was pouting worse than I've ever seen.

  "Before Dad met me, he was seeing another woman and they had you. A few months later he and I met and we raised you."

  I didn't know if I should tell him that his birth mother abandoned him in the hospital. I didn't know what kind of emotional strain that would put on him and I wasn't going to gamble on his matured emotional state.